lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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