You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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