Me too!
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Randomize