In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
