Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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