why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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