Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
