8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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