just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
