O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
