How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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