no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
