Pappa wants mamma naked
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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