Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
