So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
