that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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