separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
