You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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