does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
