the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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