Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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