Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
