my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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