it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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