new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Sorry about my life...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize