Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
