His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
