Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
