these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
