You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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