My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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