please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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