dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
