the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
