piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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