The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
