He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
