I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize