I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
