is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
