singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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