I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
