Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
