I seem to have left my pride at pride
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
This house was built for laser tag.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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