whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
