I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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