As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
