i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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