Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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