He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
