I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize