i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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