I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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