Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
is your mom at the bar?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
