I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
