bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
