I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
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