How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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