I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
