Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
