His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize