He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
