Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i now understand why vodka
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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