dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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