last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
