Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
