I'm really into asian looking animals
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
