yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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