i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
home. puking in laundry basket.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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