How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
