I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize