we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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