Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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