a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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