So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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