On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
