another moral hangover. fuck.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize