Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
