I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
